Friday, March 14, 2008

School's Out!

The one week break has flown by so fast I can hardly believe it's almost going to be over. I guess we were robbed of 3 full days by an overseas staff retreat which obviously did not help to make things better. Usually, the one week break is much needed to catch up on work and to squeeze some rest in between but obviously people in the ivory tower usually don't see things this way because the cynical part of me likes to believe that they have forgotten what it's like to be in our shoes. As senior management, they have to go back to school during the break anyway, and carting us off to an offshore location makes no difference to their working day. But for us lowly cattles, this break is precious and is much needed to refresh us to go the distance again. But I digress, I'm supposed to be writing about the break, not about the lack of it.

Spent yesterday doing some work to prepare for the hectic school term and although I did manage to clear some work, there is still quite a fair bit more to go. Went to town to walk around and also to have dinner. I must say that it feels good to be back home, to walk the streets and the familarity of everything is heart warming after being away for 3 days. And not forgetting, a nice hot bowl of dumpling soup for dinner, the great company I had and the warmth in my heart on a cold rainy day made it a very very good day.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Long awaited break

Finally, the long awaited March Holidays are here and I think it is a much needed break for all of us. It's off to Malacca from tomorrow onwards for our annual pilgrimage but boy, what bad timing. I am already mentally preparing for the crazy jam at the causeway thanks to the brillance of Mas Selamat who outsmarted our highly competent police force. I honestly do not think any of us are looking forward to this trip except crazy Jerm who for the past week has been chanting 'Melaka, Melaka' each time I pause to talk to him. But then again, this is my colleague who rides a bicycle whose wheels are as small as my dinner plates with a helmat that has 2 sticker type eyes at the very top. And before I forget, did I mention that at times he pulls his pants so high that they remind me of Steve Urcle in Family Matters. What will we do without Jerm in our lives?

This holdiday, I will strive to finish more (and even more) work before the next term begins. It's going to another 6 weeks of crazy hell and I'm just trying to do as much as I can do make it less painful by clearing as much as i can now. I honestly do not know how I'm going to survive term 2 but I'll just take everyday as it comes.

For now, I'll pray that the Lord will watch over all of us in Malacca and give me strength to do immeasurably more than I can ask for or imagine.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Hanging on....

Work has been once again very crazy these past week and I keep telling myself that it's going to get better and all I need to do is just to hang in there. For a day or two, things seemed brighter and easier to survive but shortly after, work starts descending on you like a ton of bricks again.

Take today for example, I reached the office around 6:50am and before I could even stop to check my emails, a colleague came by to ask me to settle some stuff. And with the change in deployment to my department lately, I have to shadow another new colleague who is coming in. I don't particularly hate doing it but to have to watch over someone is really tiring, especially when you fear that he is going to mess things up and you have to clear up the mess after him. Shortly after, my boss messages me to take minutes for today's meeting at 8am. Great. I really don't need to know this at 7:15am while I am rushing to pick up 4 different forms from a bunch of clowns who perpetually refuse to bring their forms when told to do so. I was a little curt in my reply to the Boss and left my desk soon for the usual morning rhetoric.

In between breaks today I realised for the first time since I started this job (it took me 5 years to realise this) that leaving the office to go to the stage transports me to another world. And in this world, I only need to perform, entertain and discipline. It provides me shelter from the hustle and bustle in the ivory tower that once used to be a source of respite from the stage. It's so ironic that I used to drag going to stage and love hiberating myself in the tower but now the tower only embodies work and more work for me. I can't seem to stay for long periods in there anymore, hole myself up and just clear all my work because once I'm in there, other more (un)important stuff bog me down and zap all my energy.

Where is that passion that once filled my life to make a difference in this world? I'm still searching high and low for it but I can't seem to find it anymore...