Rock Bottom...

Feeling very very down this past week. It's probably been the worse week in the whole year.  Monday and tuesdays were totally crazy and mind boggling. I literally had 20+ items on my 'to do' list each day and was just going mad trying to juggle everything on my plate.  I like to attribute it to the fact that 2 subjects had tests this week (please remind me never ever to do this again!) plus exams are looming so extra lessons / consultations are a must. 

I finish one remedial on tues, bring the worksheets back to my desk, take a 5 min break..rush off for remedial #2 with my stack of stuff and the worksheets go a sunder.  Great. 7 min walk back to find them.  At 4pm. They disappear. I JUST HAD THEM 10 MINS AGO! WHERE ARE THEY???  Check email, hoping to find a softcopy in my inbox. DON"T HAVE!  I am going bonkers.  Students are waiting for me, I am late. And there are no worksheets.  Great.  And the next day they show up in my box for students' projects.  FANTASTIC! WHERE WERE THEY WHEN I NEEDED THEM???

By Friday, I'd hit rock bottom.  My whole friday was jam packed and ironically, I only had 1 teaching period that day but all the other periods went to meetings and discussions. And remedials. And preparing worksheets.  At 5pm I decided I'd had enough and H got off earlier than expected and was on his way to get me.  And so I decided to leave. Barang in my hand, all packed to go.  Pleased that I'd helped Bro and Dad buy 2 story books at a cheap price and tucked them in a grummy orange plastic bag and clutched it in my hand as I walked away from my desk.  2 mins walk to the car park. Stopped by the washroom.  Got into the car and went for dinner. 

And then...I realised...the books were missing.  Not in the car.  H suggested we go back to look for them and I agreed.  Scoured my whole desk at 7pm on Friday, checked the washrooms. Nowhere to be found.  I wish I could start swearing. I really do.

This is what happens when you are too stressed out.  Temporary amnesia sets in.  I absolutely do not remember where I placed them so I like to think they grew wings and literally flew out of my hands.  Since I had amnesia, I obviously cannot recall them taking flight. I am really getting frustrated at my lack of ability to remember and recall things.  It's upsetting and threating to bring chaos in my life.

I was so down yesterday I didn't even want to read the papers or surf blogs cos I figured if I read more stuff, it'll take up space in my brain and that means I will forget stuff that previously happened.  I can't believe I've reached this stage.

Pray along with me if you can. I really need a lot of prayer. And God's help.  I am totally burnt out. Very tired. Very listless.  Struggling to survive.

Today I worked on this notebook to give myself a break. I think I need it to stay sane.  Thank God for inspiration even though I have 100001 things on my mind for the upcoming week.

Thanks for dropping by..hope next week will be a good one for  you and me!