Behind Time..

Been very back dated with posting. Laziness creeps in at times I guess and blogging really isn't the first thing on my mind.

Updates - Holidays are here. I've been procrastinating for quite a bit and finally got down to some work today. Will keep working for the rest of the week to settle more stuff so that I can really enjoy the holidays. Tied up with other work stuff towards the end of the week so it's really going to be an eventful week.

Other notes - I think I need to control my spending a little more. I realise money leaves my wallet very easily and I don't seem to have a tight reign on it. I don't wish to turn into some penny pinching auntie but I guess I have to strike a balance between frivolous spending and occasional indulgence. God help me please!

Still enjoying the holidays for now. I'm loving it. Life should be this good. Always.

A jolly good time!

Enjoying the one week hols as much as I can before the hectic Term 4 starts again. Took the chance to meet up with my EH friends at Des' place last night. Was a long trip to his place in CCK but I must say it was worth the ride to see everyone again. Been 2 years since I met Ayam, Sent,Des,Jane and a year since I saw Beeks and Mike. It was a whopping good time we had to see the guys act like small boys playing Wii and using the nauchuk to outdo each other. Had so much food to eat that I can't believe I stomached 2 pizzas, some bee hoon, countless fishballs, chicken fillet and 2 glasses of margaritas.

Des' kitchen is full of booze and he prides himself in offering us drinks, freshly blended and ohh..so nice.

Guess the highlight of the gathering came when we were going home and Sent readily offered to send everyone home as it was like 1145pm. Mike to Yishun, Beeks to Telok Blangah, Ayam to Bedok and me. Gosh..It was like a road trip because we soon realised that Sent had no clue about directions and was relying on Ayam who was armed with the street directory. We got to the KJE and Ayam thought he could trust Sent to go all the way to BKE/SLE to drop Mike off. Then...the drama started.

Sent took the PIE instead of turing to the BKE..and we were heading down south. You should have seen the look on Mike's face when he asked 'are we going to the BKE'? It was hilarious cos we realised we had just missed it..we all laughed in Unision..

So we decided that we were going to drop Beeks off..and along the way..we kept laughing at Mike cos he should have directed Sent to his place..and now instead of being the first to get dropped off..he was going to be last. Hilarious.

I'd not laughed so much on one night for a long long time and I know everytime I meet my EH friends, we never have a down moment. We catch up on our lives..play silly games and our favourite Bridge game as we did so often in EH. It's nice to see how everyone grows, matures and move to different levels in our lives.

What would my life had been if Beeks did not suggest that we move to EH in 1999? I guess I'll never know..but I do know..I treasure and love these bunch of guys and gals very much..

Long Weekend..and enjoying it!

The long weekend started yesterday with the opening of the Beijing Olympics and right here in Sunny Singapore, I was busy with work in the morning and then headed off to town for a movie and some serious watch shopping in the afternoon. Tried to cash in on the discounts offered by some department stores to get a discount on 2 watches I've been eyeing but one of the models was out of stock. The SO was very patient and went to other stores with me to try to get the 2nd piece but to no avail.

So, today I decided to try my luck and go down to another outlet and viola! It was available at a discounted price and I was very happy to pay for it and finally get to own my 2nd Fossil Time piece. I'm a believer that one should pay for good quality watches and after years of owning expensive and cheapo $15 watches, I've decided that the former is better choice. The quality is there, it never runs out of style, the battery life is endless (my 1st Fossil is 3 years old and the battery is still going strong!) and of course, the design is really great.

Currently I have 6 watches to my collection - 2 DKNY pieces, 2 Fossil, 1 Swatch, 1 Precious Moment (I know, I know, who buys Precious Moments watches right? I didn't - It was a gift and a very nice one in fact!)

I have 2 more to add to my collection - 1 for sports / outdoor activities (can't be wearing my leather strap watches right?) and a Gold one for dinners / functions to match my outfit. These will come later I guess cos I have no urgent need for them and obviously, I need to save more money after spending like $400+ this weekend.

On a curious note, it's now 5:20pm as I sit in my room to blog this entry and the National Day Parade pre segment starts at 5:45pm. I'm curious because the skies are really dark and a heavy downpour looms (i can hear some thunder in the background too). From what I remember, it has NEVER rained on National Day except in 1966 where PM Lee was a Catholic High standing in the rain with his whole band. I always figured that the government does cloud seeding each year cos it's terrible for it to rain obviously..how can the parade go on? So, I'm really amazed by this year's poor weather ( is it a sudden storm from neighbouring countries?)..I will be tuning in on Channel 5 soon to see what happens.

Gonna be interesting. Poor weather man and parade commander. Must be very stressed now..heee.

HAPPPPIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE National Day everyone!
ENJOY!

On a Break

Down with a nasty sore throat for the longest time but found the opportunity to take a break off work this week and went to see the doctor. Was expecting him to give me a day off but when he saw that I was a teacher (on my card!) he gave me 2 days and said that teachers need to take care of their voice. So that probably explains his kindness in giving me 2 days off. And boy, I'm savouring every moment of it.

Did laundry today by myself and though it was tiring, at least I'm glad I have the time to do it instead of mum always helping me to do my share on Saturday morning when I've to go back to school for one reason or another. I'm very tired of burning saturdays and sundays for work. At least there is an end to the year. I can see it coming.

Today's programme - off in the afternoon for an important mission (to sign my life away!) and then sis is going to pick me after she finishes work and I have to help her look for a white skirt in lieu of National Day. Then it's off in the evening to spend time with the SO since tomorrow is a half day and there's not much work this period of time.

More work looms when Common Test approaches but for now, I'm celebrating the Singapore Spirit this long weekend and of course, my extra 2 day break!

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY EVERYONE!

Some rest

For once this week I'm finally able to get some rest. Spent yesterday in school for CCA till evening and was quite tired but am glad that I can get to relax and chill on this sabbath day.

Also managed to do a little bit of preparation for next week's classes (something I've not been able to do in a long while) and I feel more prepared for class already. Sometimes I feel I shortchange my students because I don't have time to read my content before hand and just smoke through because I have absolutely no time to do so with other admin and additional duties piling up on me. It actually does feel pretty good to be prepared for class now that I think about it.

Counting down to the National day weekend..and anticipating some good sale (20% storewide!) so I can get some stuff I've been eyeing..time for me to spend my hard earned money!

All the way my Saviour leads me

Had a very edgy day and was feeling out of sorts the entire day as I knew I was in for some serious conversation with the VP today and was psyching myself up in preparation for our meeting. Half the time I was envisioning our mental sparring and trying to conjour out arguments to deflect his viewpoints. Finally, the time came and I think in the midst of our conversation I crumbled a little and tears welled up in my eyes ( I don't normally do this!) but I guess lately I have been very vulnerable and the stress is really getting to me. It threatens to eat me up alive and to rob me of my sanity.

But, I digress - back to the conversation with VP where he finally caved in but not without going down for a fight and I was forced to accept a nasty condition he laid down (that guy sure is a tough cookie) before we came to terms. Sigh. but I'm glad it's over because I've not felt my body feel so weak (must be the lack of food for the whole day!) and listless for a very long time. No hunger pangs, no emptiness in my stomach, no desire for any food (that's why i didn't eat!) but only a lathergy and severe lack of energy. It was not till 5 ish that I ate and felt a lot better. Food really is good for the soul.

And so here I am at cross roads in my life - not sure if the decision I've made is correct but I stand by one saying 'The will of God will not lead you to where the grace of God cannot keep you'. I trust that the spirit has led me to the right path God has in mind for me and I hold to with the promise that he's always with me.

I thank God for everything, good and bad alike, in my life for I know whatever befall me, Jesus doeth all things well.

And this my song through endless ages-Jesus doeth all things well.

Fat Arrow

What started out as a seemingly alright day turned to dark skies at 1045am today when I got a major arrow from the office clerk. It's not her fault - she was merely relaying a message to me from the higher ups. So apparently someone in the Ivory Towers in HQ forgot to inform me about something major and now, out of desperation calls my VP and HOD to 'pressure' me to acceed to her request. And when you're being cornered like that, do you have any choice?

I'm getting more and more drained each day and arrows like this are not appreciated as I'm really up to my neck with work and still have to worry about another major event 2 days away. i am really pissed. Pissed beyong words can describe because once again, I am trapped and being coerced to agree to something that I don't want to do.

Shed a few tears just now after dinner while I was mulling over the day's events in the solitude of my room. The last time I cried like this and felt so ensnared was during my Uni days. And it's a terrible feeling. I really hate it. Really really do. And see..the tears are flowing again because I feel I've reached my threshold and can't go on further....

Monday Blues

Had a pretty good weekend and somehow as I look back now, I'm starting to think that it was TOO good and maybe I should have done a bit more work on Saturday so that today won't have been such a mad rush. Was busy settling stuff here and there and sometimes I wonder why there are always so many things to do and endless stuff for CCA. Does it ever seem to end?

Helping out my SH to vet papers as well as to do answers for the next class test which will occupy the rest of my night. I wonder what else is in store for me for the rest of the week. But I'm still glad that I've clear many duties for the year and that is really a load off my mind. Now I just need to get through the daily grind and the never ending CCA stuff. argh...when will I be able to escape this?

Have remedial class tomorrow then got to stay back to mark some books..I hope to get off by 5pm latest..I need some rest!

Hiatus

Apologise for the hiatus lately as I was busy (what else is new right?) and somehow blogging is the least of my priorities when even getting enough rest is impossible. Been tied up with CCA matters, lots of admin work to settle and sort now that my colleague is on MC but thank God she's still contactable via sms and able to help us through some matters. Still very grateful for her methodical and organized work which is always near perfect and I have never once spotted any error in her work. WOAH!

The mad rush for the year is almost over and I'm really happy to have knocked off 2 things from my crazy July schedule as of yesterday and am very happily enjoying some much needed break and rest. Managed to get home by 4pm for the past 2 days despite having some stuff to do and I'm still glad the major events for this year are over (at least I hope nothing else comes up!)

Am now going to focus on tying up the loose ends in my CCA as I've realised there are many loopholes that must be addressed and the screws tightened so we can function better. While I've always ranted about the crazy load this CCA gives me, I still must say at the end of the day I have a soft spot for them and I'd do my best to help improve things related to their welfare and the good for the CCA. They are my pride and joy even though I know sometimes their silly antics stress me up terribly. Thank God for J and N who step up to disciple everyone and attempt to relieve the burden off me when my blood pressure starts to shoot up because people do stupid things. I must give both of them much credit for holding the fort and supportive of what we do for them. Thanks guys!

Another area I'm going to work on is my spritual life..been very busy doing work stuff that I think I've neglected spending time with God..He gets relegated to being my buddy on the walk to the bus interchange each morning and as I trek up the slope to work. Sigh..I will make greater effort to give Him my best time each day and not my 'spare' time. Dear Lord, help me ok?

Oh, what a week!

Been a crazy week (again!) with trying to settle so many stuff that sometimes I think my brain goes into spasm and shuts down on me, accounting for the numerous blunders I've made this week at work.

Fortunately the bosses have been very understanding and forgiving for my misgivings and have not held them against me but I do feel bad about it. At many a times, I feel that my brain does not concentrate on the work at hand but is busy thinking about future matters and thus fails me when I need it most to function. Take yesterday for example, I parked the car and proceeded to tear my parking coupon and tried to search for the date on my handphone. My brain picked up on the first indicator it saw and I went on to tear the number '15' on the coupon. It was only an hour later that I realised that it was the 11th of July and not the 15th. Nice.

Was praying hard that I would not get a fine (which I didn't!) as it would mean more hassle having to write to URA to wave it or risk losing $30 to the government. Thank God that towards the end of the day I didn't make any further mistakes and could at least have a nice dinner on a Friday night.

So here I am on a saturday back at the office trying to clear work. Sometimes i wonder how much longer I can really last..

Taking it slow

Had a busy week these past few days and work is really up to my neck. Trying my best to clear as much as it can so that I can try to enjoy a little of this long weekend.

I have no idea how to begin describing my daily routine, the thankless work I do and endless scripts to mark. Why are there just so many things to do?

HELP!

Another busy day....

School today was another crazy buzz that started around 8ish and the strangest part was that I only have 4 lesson slots today (which isn't a lot) but I ended up doing so many things that are once again not related to teaching. Sigh. More sighs. A 4 period day is usually considered pretty lax and I'd thought I'd time to chill, settle work for next week but as usual I end up running around like a headless chicken trying to settle the new t shirts for the kids as well as running my CCA. It's totally mad.

And I still have 5 stacks of test papers sitting on my table.

Still trying to get into the swing of things now that term has started again and it's been a tough ride honestly with so many things to do. And the worse is yet to come as I'm involved in a project where my head has yet to delegate any work to me. It scares me honestly as I don't know what's instore there but I'll try to clear up as much as I can on my side before that shit falls on me.

And MOE still wonders why so many of us teachers end up quitting. They should really try teaching again in a school.

And i still have 5 stacks of test papers sitting on my table.

It's only Tuesday

Got off to a pretty rough start this week when I got a little upset with my boss over some work matters. It didn't help that it was Monday (yes, that's a very common excuse I know but it's true!) and I was feeling very overwhelmed with many tons of bricks falling on me. Got a file on my table after I came back from class to find that the boss had allocated me an extra class of remedial when I thought we had an understanding that she was only going to give me 2 class and at point blank I said to her 'I think this is too heavy for me'. Opps. As soon as the words came out, I kind of regretted it as I feel it didn't make a difference whether I voiced out my opinion about my load as I'll still have to take the class anyway (don't think she's ever going to take the load off me)so I might as well have not said anything and just do the extra class. Damn.

No point regretting now, can only say I'll just have to hang on. Sometimes I wonder just how long I can continue at this crazy pace and there are times when I want to throw in the towel but there are other moments when I just want to hang on to see what my threshold is (ya, sounds silly I know).

Truth really is that the only thing that sees me through each day is the strength that God gives and one thing I've learnt is to pray every morning before I get to work..and that prayer ALWAYS works because somehow the day always seems slightly better (now you'd know I forgot to pray yesterday morning).

It's already mid-week tomorrow and I know there's still a lot to clear..2 set of test papers sitting on my table and by the end of the week it'll be 6 more stacks. But I've already figured how to get through it..because there's something that always works..

Long(er) Weekend..

Got a break this week on Friday where the kids have their time fo fun celebrating Youth Day and lessons were cancelled (YIPPEEE!) much to the delight of everyone. Although there was a bit of running around to ensure that everything was in order and the kids didn't mess up the entire place, I was nonetheless very glad that there was no teaching to be done. After I left work, I went down for lunch and then it was off to meet the sister for some shopping before dinner.

Spent yesterday at Changi Beach for the afternoon (What a nice place) before heading off to church for a dinner gathering. As usual, our conversation centred around J and his impossible crush on V and his never-ending emotional ride with his feelings. He's a nice guy but lacks courage to go after that one girl who could possibly be his if he tried. But as I was talking to him (again) today before church, I realised that sometimes there are desires in our heart and I believe that God plants them at times but in other instances, they could just be our own. Nonetheless, I still encourage him to keep praying for courage and wisdom. The former to help him try to talk to her and the latter for knowing what to say and when to pull back if necessary. Relationships are tricky, like stepping in a mine field so it's alway good to thread with caution. I will keep praying for my emotionally tormented brother who has his life turned upside down in the recent months...

On another note, things are going well for now..work is as usually crappy but I just try to do the best I can and hope to find as much joy and meaning in what I do. It just really tiring & crazy at times but I'll hang in there till I really can't go on..

Dear Lord, please give me strength for tomorrow and wisdom for each day that u give..

First Week..

School started again on Monday after a month of hiatus and while I was really not looking forward to it, I thank God that the first 2 days have gone be pretty smoothly. On monday morning I woke up earlier than usual (5:05am) and left by 5:45am to get to school. Was the first one in at 6:15 and did some clearing of work before the rush started. Prayed that morning on the way that God will give me strength to do all I had to and I must really thank Him for his grace and strength because I know that He alone carried me through these 2 days.

It's really amazing how prayer works and what God can do if we put Him first in our lives. To commmit each day to Him, to sing songs of praise as I trud from the bus stop to school each day is something I enjoy and must constantly remind myself to do because I know that God hears our prayers and will bless us.

On another note I think I've been eating too much ice cream and cakes..must cut down..and go running regularly...need to be able to fit my clothes!

Am looking forward to friday...going to be a day of fun and games..woo hooo hooooo...

Praise be to the Lord!

Crazy Days

Finally found some time today to blog about the series of unfortunate events (no pun intended) that have hit me these past few days after deciding that work never ends and some times, I really need to pull the reigns and tell myself that work can wait and it's ok not to get everything done now - you just need to get it done by the deadline.

Been shot a few last minute arrows that i can't even begin to describe what they are but I fear that this is only the start of a worse term to come. Bosses have been smsing / emailing me about work and my 'to-do' list is getting longer and longer. I'm already preparing for a long list of things to do tomorrow when I go back to settle some work stuff. I'll be glad if I can make it out of the office by 11am. Hopefully nothing much crops up again. It's a pity that my passion for the work I do dwindles as time goes by because I've learnt that I'm not measured or judged solely by my ability to deliver in class but for other seemingly important admin work that management values. Whatever happened to spending time and bonding with my students?

BIG SIGH.

In the midst of all the craziness around me, I'm still grateful for my close friends and family who make life worth living for. Their company and love is something I treasure and feel very blessed to have them in my life.
And to my Lord and Saviour who reminds me daily that this life is just a passing because I am only on this journey to something greater for eternity.
And also to the one who is always there for me at the end of each day to listen to me rant; whose shoulders I always want to lean on through good and bad times, whose company I treasure and enjoy deeply and above all, who means the world to me.
I'm sold.

Went down town to watch the Incredible Hulk yesterday and enjoyed it heaps. Edward Norton is a good actor and I vividly remember him from 'The Septre' many years ago where I thought he was fantastic. He's still a prolific actor in my eyes and I admire his acting talent. Really am anticipating the sequel of the show, hopefully it'll come soon.

Had waffles at Gelare after the dinner as it was waffle day and it was quite packed with many people. I really enjoy their waffles - thick, crispy and drizzled with maple syrup with 2 scoops of ice cream. A slice of heaven here on Earth. But I do fear it's quite damaging to my waist line - i can almost feel my waist getting bigger after a trip to waffle heaven each time and am left wondering if it's worth the calories.

Will go for a run tomorrow. I'm starting to learn the trick to a good run - go slow and aim for endurance rather than speed. I think i've been to preoccupied with finishing 3.5km in 25 minutes and end with my stitches each time. But on Sunday, I did a slow run..and it was good. I'm going to aim for that tomorrow and train my endurance before working on speed. Need to keep off the pounds..hate growing fat.

Back to work tomorrow to clear some stuff before crazy Monday. I am not looking forward to it but guess all good things must come to an end. Trying to savour these last few moments for now.

On a lighter note, today as I walked out of cine after dinner I felt really blessed and it dawned upon me that I'm really in a good place now in my life and have never been better and happier than ever before. I really am very blessed.

Hong Kong

Went to HK last weekend and just got back a few days ago. Was a very good trip in terms of shopping and walking around..having a good time buying stuff and trying new food. Of special mention is the durian pastry I had one afternoon that was both baked and fried (that's what it said on the menu) and while I was half wondering why there was a need to both bake and fry it, thoughts of that soon disappeared when I sank my teeth into the soft, creamy and delectable dessert. The richness of the durian flavour coupled with a paper-like cripsy pastry was an instant hit. I was sold immediately. Yumz..wish I could have some of it now.

Most days were spent walking around the usual popular hunts and shopping districts and the nights were at the markets or the streets. I miss HK already. The vibrancy is amazing and while my only grouse is that the streets are pepetually filled with people, I guess it's something I could really live with if I decide to reside in HK for a while.

For now, it's back to life her in the Lion City and back to more work as the hols are ending in a week's time. Will be going back tomorrow to clear some work in hope that it will mitigate the usual first day of school flurry and frenzy.

Updates

The hols have been going great so far. Enjoying much of it thus far and am really loving the fact that I can wake up to a bright morning sun each other. Awesome.

Also, I've not been shopping much lately for some reason. Not many purchases - I guess I started way before the sale and am not really in the mood to go down town to throng the shops.

Shopping Drought (but good for my wallet).

Holidayz..

Been quite a busy few days even though it's the holidays and I'm technically supposed to be having a break. Come to think of it, it's been my busiest hols so far as the past few ones all seem to be a little more free but these days, it feels like everyday I wake up to a whole day full of activities. Whatever happened to just waking up and not knowing what you're going to do for the day?

Did quite a bit of work for next term but there is still some more to go and I have to get that one before Sunday when I leave. Once that is done, will be a great load off my mind and I'll do the brushing up of the testimonials when I get back.

Mum got off work since last week and we've been spending quite a bit of time together now that it's just mainly the 2 of us at home. We have lunch together and she likes walking around so we usually go to some suburban mall to walk around and eat yummy food like the rojak at Toa Payoh. It's really still the best rojak I've ever had and I'm not even a big of it to begin with. Just like the 'you tiao' and pineapple only - that's my version of what constitutes rojak!

Today we went to IKEA for lunch (all 10 yummy meatballs are floating in my stomach) followed by grocery shopping at Giant which took us a full hour. Sis and me were done with my snack shopping in 10 minutes but mum, being typical, took forever selecting the veggies, fish and what naught. Well, consolation is that we did have a pretty good dinner tonight (and last night too) and everyone's really liking it cos we miss home cooked food so much. Makes me wanna have my own kitchen and start experimenting my own concoctions..someday I'll get there!

Blessed..

A week of the holidays has flown by and I'm still half wondering where it has gone to and what I've been up to all this while. I mean, I've been doing work (although not as much as I'd like to finish) but somehow the time is just passing way to fast for my liking. I really have to treasure the remaining few weeks and sqeeze in time to do more work and also to really chill.

Went shopping today with mum and sis. It's always good to have a girls day out where you get genunine opinions on items you pick out and although mum takes forever at every shop she steps into, sis and me try not to let it get to our mood and we remain upbeat about doing more shopping. Dad picked us up from the train station and it's been about an hour since I've showered and am smelling all clean and fresh.

Life is good at this moment for me.

Been thinking about how blessed I've been lately and how God really has given so much more to me than I ever deserve. I have a great family, a (not so) great job but at least I can still afford food and a decent living, wonderful friends who are always there for me and a person to share my ups and downs with and who is ever so patient and accommodating...

I am truly very very blessed. Thank you, Lord.

Oh, what a day!

Been a really long and crazy today which started with 4 colleagues calling in one after each other to report sick. It's strange how when you have a long day at work, more people choose to take MC, perhaps to escape PTM?

Tried to write the testimonials today and by the time I got to the 7th one, my brains were totally fried and no matter how hard I tried, I could not avoid being repetitive- then I knew I had to stop and take a breather.

Got home around 5:15pm, immediately changed and went to prepare the ingredients for dinner. Washed and cooked the rice, chopped the onions, sliced the luncheon meat band beat the eggs. While waiting for the rice to cook, I soaked the hand wash clothes and thereafter took a short break and read the newspapers. 6:15 - time to open the wok and cook the fried rice..chomp chomp chomp...got it done in 20 minutes. Mum got home shortly after and decided that sis had to go to the doctor for her swollen eyes and because she was very tired, I had to send her to the clinic. By the time we got home it was 7:35 already and I was dead beat. The pail of hand-wash clothes was still not washed. I kind of expected dad and mum to do it but I guess they were too engrossed watching American Idol. So I got off my butt and decided I'd do it since I started it..and sis helped me despite her puffy eyes.

Just took a bath, very tired now, mentally drained, physically exhausted and linguistically challenged (at least for now).

Hope I will find more inspiration tomorrow for the testimonials. Dying to get them finished and out of the way..

Almost there...

It's been a good start to a short 4 day week with nothing very urgent to settle today and the day passed by at a good pace. I did a write up for one of the bosses, followed by preparing materials for next week's extra class. Got that settled, together with the report books for the form class. I'm quite happy with today's progress and hope that tomorrow will see me finishing as much work as today. I'll work more on materials for the 2nd half of the year tomorrow.

Had lunch at Cafe Le Amis at the botanic gardens. The food is pretty ok but the ambience is really great. Lush greenery juxtaposed with serenity on a peaceful tuesday was a good way to end my tuesday although I did wish the sky would be cloudier and the sun a little more kind to us poor souls bearing the brunt of its fury.

Tomorrow I'm off to the dentist in the afternoon. Dr Toh says I have a chipped filling which needs to be replaced. Sigh. I've tried so hard all these years to keep my teeth in tip top condition to prevent any serious dental work and now I need to re do the filling because it was chipped. Great. What happened to the disciplined brushing and flossing every day and night? :( In any case, I guess that beats having a root canal which apparently hurts very badly according to Van. I am definitely not prepared for that.

Updates

In the spirit of updating my blog, I shall post another entry tonight. Spent a very lazy Sunday yesterday at home and was planning to do the same thing today until Mum suggested going to Plaza Sing to shop. I accompanied her down town to lavish on all the good discounts the shops were offering and managed to get some stuff too. It's always good to get great discounts on the stuff you buy-somehow it makes the item a bit more 'valued' as you know you got it at a good deal.

Went to PS with a heavy heart the whole time as I was thinking how best to break the news to mum - an half the time anticipating how she would react to it. I didn't think she would actually take it too hard but I was just preparing myself for the worse - afterall, she did give me a hard time 6 years ago when she heard something similar. I didn't say anything in the end as I guess I couldn't muster the courage to do so. Another chance came today when the whole family was going for dinner. Mum wanted to walk so I took the chance to accompany her and somewhere along the walk, the words just came out. She took it rather well in fact and was more than supportive. I guess her approval for the choices I make in this life are important to me and I really value her opinion; which explains why all this time I was finding a chance to spill the beans. I'm glad I finally did it and that's one more load off my back.

Spent some time after dinner doing my Quiet Time and I'm reminded once again how much I value the presence of God in my life; just that 10-15 minutes of bible reading, prayer really keeps me in tune and in touch with God. Prayed for Fern and Sally for breakthroughs and that God will work in their lives; and prayed for the victims of China and Myammar for God to intervene.

The phone's ringing now, got to go...will update again.

Blessed

I really should make it a point to update my blog more frequently -since that's the reason why people have a blog in the first place. To start this entry, I guess I'll write about what's weighing on my mind currently. I know it sounds cliche but the recent calamities that have hit Myammar and China have struck a cord with me. Something tugs at my heart each time i see pictures on the newspapers and the plight of innocent people suffering in these places makes me feel that sometimes I take what I have for granted -literally. I mean, there are thousands out there who are in pain, waiting for aid, and have no idea when their next meal is going to be but here I am in Singapore - thinking of which movie to watch next, which shopping mall is having sale and worrying about spending too much money when people out there have literally lost everything in their lives. I feel guilty already. Although I know it is impossible for me to physically bring food and clothing to them, I guess that being appreciative of what I have does help to lessen my guilt. Fern once told me that she thinks I'm very blessed. I'll never ever forget this line of hers because I think she hit the nail right on the head. God has never failed to provide for me all these years. I've never been the smartest, tallest, slimmest or best looking gal around but in His own way, He has made my paths straight. He saw me through every exam (I hate exams!), every painful night in my honours year, every tear-stained eye after I broke up with my ex and moulded me slowly to what I am today. He has given me a good job, a supportive family, nice colleagues and great friends who stand by me through so many seasons. I am very blessed.

Rev Teo talked about Proverbs 21:15 today 'Many are a man's plans but it's the Lord's will that prevails'. I am once again reminded that while I can fight and wrestle with God, I cannot outdo Him and I am totally powerless if I decided to go against Him. I think too often, I let my own preferences, choices and fancies take precedence that I forget to ask if this is what God wants for me. I make my own decisions without praying hard enough and simply put, i don't let God be God. I seriously think I need to re-examine my life and where God is in the whole scheme of things.

For a start, I'm going to make it a point to go back to CG every forthnight. I've been too much of a procrastinator and it's time to go back to reconnect with the CG people and God..for a new start.

Finally..and update!

Gosh, it's been so long that I'ver wrote here that I almost forgot I had a blog. Things have been looking good these days and work is really really winding down. I can feel it becoming less tedious and strenous each day which is a really good thing. My colleagues and I have been tremendously overworked each day by the new changes in the system that threatens to rob us of our sanity. This upcoming break is really much needed to recharge us. I fell sick last week with a nasty throat and a bad flu. Didn't help that there was a concert on Tues so there was no way I could take MC..but all's well today.

I'm looking forward to Friday and this weekend. It's an entire of fun and enjoyment before Tues (D-Day). I am going to paint the town red on Friday!

School's Out!

The one week break has flown by so fast I can hardly believe it's almost going to be over. I guess we were robbed of 3 full days by an overseas staff retreat which obviously did not help to make things better. Usually, the one week break is much needed to catch up on work and to squeeze some rest in between but obviously people in the ivory tower usually don't see things this way because the cynical part of me likes to believe that they have forgotten what it's like to be in our shoes. As senior management, they have to go back to school during the break anyway, and carting us off to an offshore location makes no difference to their working day. But for us lowly cattles, this break is precious and is much needed to refresh us to go the distance again. But I digress, I'm supposed to be writing about the break, not about the lack of it.

Spent yesterday doing some work to prepare for the hectic school term and although I did manage to clear some work, there is still quite a fair bit more to go. Went to town to walk around and also to have dinner. I must say that it feels good to be back home, to walk the streets and the familarity of everything is heart warming after being away for 3 days. And not forgetting, a nice hot bowl of dumpling soup for dinner, the great company I had and the warmth in my heart on a cold rainy day made it a very very good day.

Long awaited break

Finally, the long awaited March Holidays are here and I think it is a much needed break for all of us. It's off to Malacca from tomorrow onwards for our annual pilgrimage but boy, what bad timing. I am already mentally preparing for the crazy jam at the causeway thanks to the brillance of Mas Selamat who outsmarted our highly competent police force. I honestly do not think any of us are looking forward to this trip except crazy Jerm who for the past week has been chanting 'Melaka, Melaka' each time I pause to talk to him. But then again, this is my colleague who rides a bicycle whose wheels are as small as my dinner plates with a helmat that has 2 sticker type eyes at the very top. And before I forget, did I mention that at times he pulls his pants so high that they remind me of Steve Urcle in Family Matters. What will we do without Jerm in our lives?

This holdiday, I will strive to finish more (and even more) work before the next term begins. It's going to another 6 weeks of crazy hell and I'm just trying to do as much as I can do make it less painful by clearing as much as i can now. I honestly do not know how I'm going to survive term 2 but I'll just take everyday as it comes.

For now, I'll pray that the Lord will watch over all of us in Malacca and give me strength to do immeasurably more than I can ask for or imagine.

Hanging on....

Work has been once again very crazy these past week and I keep telling myself that it's going to get better and all I need to do is just to hang in there. For a day or two, things seemed brighter and easier to survive but shortly after, work starts descending on you like a ton of bricks again.

Take today for example, I reached the office around 6:50am and before I could even stop to check my emails, a colleague came by to ask me to settle some stuff. And with the change in deployment to my department lately, I have to shadow another new colleague who is coming in. I don't particularly hate doing it but to have to watch over someone is really tiring, especially when you fear that he is going to mess things up and you have to clear up the mess after him. Shortly after, my boss messages me to take minutes for today's meeting at 8am. Great. I really don't need to know this at 7:15am while I am rushing to pick up 4 different forms from a bunch of clowns who perpetually refuse to bring their forms when told to do so. I was a little curt in my reply to the Boss and left my desk soon for the usual morning rhetoric.

In between breaks today I realised for the first time since I started this job (it took me 5 years to realise this) that leaving the office to go to the stage transports me to another world. And in this world, I only need to perform, entertain and discipline. It provides me shelter from the hustle and bustle in the ivory tower that once used to be a source of respite from the stage. It's so ironic that I used to drag going to stage and love hiberating myself in the tower but now the tower only embodies work and more work for me. I can't seem to stay for long periods in there anymore, hole myself up and just clear all my work because once I'm in there, other more (un)important stuff bog me down and zap all my energy.

Where is that passion that once filled my life to make a difference in this world? I'm still searching high and low for it but I can't seem to find it anymore...

This week has by far been the worse week of the year for me with multiple things hitting me all at one go. It's the usual crazy season of the year for all of us and while I was already mentally prepared to devote all my time to the usual rhetoric, I did not expect all the other things to suddenly descend upon me.
Chief among which was a shocker that came via sms on friday with my close colleague (and friend) informing me that our new boss was forming an ad-hoc committee to get some of us to undertake a new project to improve the workplace. I was quite dumbfounded as to what this was all about until I read the email and realised that it was only sent to 10 of us sitting ducks and I do think that by the end of the project, we'll all be really lame ducks. I mean, undertaking new projects is expected but from what i heard, this project seems out of our jobscope but I shall now reveal what it is until the inaugural meeting on Tues (what a waste of my time!).

It doesn't help that my colleague that I work closely with is very sick at the moment, down with fever and she doesn't look like she's getting better anytime soon and I have to cover quite a bit of stuff for her and our external instructor is hounding me lately over budget matters. Another one thing in my life to settle.

I guess this could go on and on, given that my portfolio this year is crazy but I guess this trying period is only temporary and will pass by in a few weeks time (I REALLY HOPE SO!).

At least for now, the scripts are done, waiting for 2 more on Tues and maybe just for the few hours left of today I can finally breathe a little easier and my heart will feel a little lighter.

Many thanks to H for his support yesterday evening and for being so patient to let me rant on and on... Also for the lovely honey bread cookie and kshocolat which are already in my belly..:)

Sunday Morning

It feels really good to wake up on a Sunday morning and not have to rush to work and you can really slowly take your time to get things done. Somewhere in the neighbourhood, there is the quaint sound of someone watering his plants and even somewhere further afield I can hear a rooster crowing. This leaves me to wonder which household around here actually rears a rooster in modern day Singapore and there, I can hear it making its cookoo-doo sounds again.

But I digress, this post is supposed to be about Sunday, not about the mysterious rooster hidden in someone's garden that I've not come to know about all these years. Sunday morning has always been my favourite morning because it's the one whole day in the week when you actually know you don't have to work and that in itself is a big comfort. I guess that work is really driving me crazy and any form of respite is always welcomed.

This week I have been seriously thinking about my options for Plan E and while I really want to make an exit, I guess the cautious side in me is still holding me back. The familarity of the job, the big hearted colleagues that I've come to know so well and the comfort level still holds me back. I think there's a big caterpillar in me that still wants to stay as much as possible in my cocoon but at times I think of what sort of butterfly I would be if I get out of my cocoon. I mean, there's so much to see and experience in this big world that the caterpillar in me would never know until I dare to venture on my own. I think I really need someone to give me wings.

The sunlight is slowly streaming in my room and it's getting brighter every moment. I'm enjoying this heaps. If only everyday can be a Sunday...

On an even brighter note; went to Seletar reservoir on Friday and it is a really beautiful place to go in the night. Not many cars, not many people, just the water that never stops moving and the swash and backwash hitting th banks every second. What a sight. I loved the watch tower too and I really must apologise for staying up there for too long because while I was happily enjoying myself up there and soaking in the scenery, I failed to realise that H had a fear of heights and I think it must have been quite a feat for him to go up there with me. Really appreciate it. :)

Later it's off to church to be in the House of the Lord (what great joy that is!) followed by the flea market at Zouk. I can already tell it's going to be a good day ahead.

CNY Holiday!

Today's the 2nd day of the year of the Mickey and boy, it does feel good to be able to wake up at 9am on a Friday morning and be able to pen this post. Last night we were at 2nd Uncle's house and by 11pm, I think my body started to shut down and I was longing to get home to my comfy bed. Thanks to sis to agreed to send me back home and then go back to continue in the revelry with the cousins. After I got home and brushed my teeth, laid on my bed and I think I was flat out in 5 minutes because the next thing i remembered is tossing in my bed at 8am. Guess I have been too drained the entire year and in perpetual sleep deficit that does not allow my body to stay up too late..oh well...maybe it's a sign I'm getting older?

Will be doing some work after I finish this post, and then it's off for the usual dim sum lunch with the extended family followed by a movie at Orchard. I'm really looking forward to going out this aftenoon as many kids will be coming to my place and boy, they are NOISY..so I definitely have to get out. Fortunately, I'm hanging out with a friend whose company I always enjoy and of late, we've been laughing a lot and I'm reminded of how important laughter is to lifting our spirits and I do hope we have more good times together...

For now..it's back to work first.

Holiday mood!

Although today's the usual Monday which signifies the start of another work week, it feels pretty good because I've already started the countdown to the CNY holiday. I mean, tecnically the holidays start on Wed but I've already made plans to have some pre celebration on Tues. Tomorrow after work, it's off to Funan for some shopping of IT stuff and then dinner at Mt. Emily Hill..Can't wait for it to happen. Good food, good company and a good holiday..what more can I ask for?

On sunday, woke up early to go to market with mum to get some new year stuff. It was very crowded and parking was tough..guess everyone is desperately trying to stock up on food over the CNY period. Managed to get some hot soya bean drink which I was only more than glad to bring home and sip while reading the Sunday Times. I was reminded how much I love that feeling of having hot soya bean in the early morning..and I must confess that there's something magical in that drink that perks me up, lightens my spirits and makes me feel so much better after a sip or two. And better than any coffee in the world.. If only every Sunday could be like that..

I shall sign off on a happy note today..Work never ceases..you clear something...there's always something else. But for tonight at least, I'm not going to think of any work..tomorrow will take care of itself..

Time for Plan E?

I'm really glad to be able to get the opportunity to pen this post in the comfort of my bedroom on a Saturday night before a really short week that lies ahead. I mean, I've waited for this weekend for the longest while since the start of the year; and I'm finally here tonight doing this.

It's been five weeks into the year and although each week passes so fast, it really doesn't feel like only 5 weeks; it feels like 5 months already as I'm so tired each day and sometimes I wonder where I'm going to get the energy to continue running this race. I term my job as a race because I've noticed that each day as I get to the office, within 5 minutes I'm running around just to settle things, look for people, photocopy stuff, etc. And the best part is that the craze just doesn't seem to end.

I spoke to BH today about seriously thinking about Plan B and he suggested Plan E - escape. I think it pretty sums up very much how I really feel deep down inside me as 2008 is just becoming more and more unbearable. 5 years ago I was happy with the job, then it shifted to being contented, to cruising through and now it's just escapism. Maybe it's really time to go?

On a lighter note, I look forward to waking up late tomorrow (FINALLY!!) and sip my cool drink while reading the Sunday Times. I think it's a real luxury to just read the papers, feel the fresh crisp wafer thin papers with each page you flip; and I'm counting down to then...

2 day week looms. Will start painting the town red on tuesday afternoon in the spirit of all the festivity while awaiting the pomp to usher the year of the mickey.

In Christ Alone..

I received a miss call this afternoon while I was away from my desk, together with an sms that did not bring very good news. Beeks contacted me to say that our JC classmate, Su, had passed away last night in a car accident. I was momentarily struck for a moment to let it all sink in before I asked the typical questions of what happened. It seems the accident was reported on the ST website but asiaone.com didn't appear to have any news.

On the bus ride home, I thought about my JC days, all the fun times we had together as a class, the stress and painful times we spent together that only sought to bring our class closer...and I am once again reminded about the brevity of life on this planet. The last wake I attended was in Dec and it was one of the most very heart wrenching wake I've ever been to and I told myself there and then that I'm going to live this life in a much better fashion. However, when Jan 2nd came and all the crazy buzz of work dawned upon me, I guess I lost sight of that vision I had for myself at the end of last year.

Maybe Su's passing is a timely reminder once again that my life here is only momentarily and indeed, In Christ Alone, my hope is found, He is my light, my strength, my song.

May God grant me wisdom and strength to continue pressing on..to live my best life here on Earth, to appreciate my family and close friends, to show them how much they mean to me..until He calls me home.

Weekend is here!

I almost forgot I had a blog this week as work has been piling up and while I labour tirelessly to clear outstanding work, blogging is really not on my list of priorities. I'm glad I survived another week since Jan the 2nd and I just need to hang on for 2 more weeks till Chinese New Year .

On a happier note, on friday I had lunch at Toa Payoh Lor 4. We kind of have this thing for the food centre there, even though it's quite old and the variety of food is limited. The dessert stall owner knows us pretty well and can even remember the stuff we usually order. Thereafter, I decided to go to Far East, and kept deliberating if I should (re)cutting my hair as I thought the first one wasn't that great and did not turn out entirely the way I wanted it to. After alighting from Orchard MRT, I headed to Far East and wondered around, still pondering if I should do a second cut. Then I decided to just go for it and I must say, I'm pretty happy with the results. Rachel really did a good job..and I think I'm going to make Far East my next permenant place for cutting my hair. The salons there are really quite good and I think they really know what they're doing (I borrow this line from H-the the expert in hair styles). Met V and Ed for dinner at Great World that night, we went to Bangkok Jam which served quite nice Thai food, not forgetting that Ed had 50% off the ala carte menu-guess that made the dinner even sweeter and better :)

Went to Chinatown yesterday with the intention of walking around before heading to Spizza @ club street for dinner. Didn't know that it was the light up ceremony for CNY and it was rather crowded and packed with people. Thank God we were not really affected or inconvenienced by the crowds. Also explored some shops at Ann Siang Hill which I've heard so much of but never really been to check them out. Was quite interesting to go into small shops and see the intricate and exotic things that they have on display while half the time I'm secretly wondering how the shops actually survive in such a quite area that does not seem to attract many customers.

After dinner, we headed for Marina South to the roof top garden at the pier. The scenery there is fantastic and almost breathtaking, complete with benches and a grasspatch on the rooftop for star gazing (i think so!). there's even a mini cafe where u can order drinks and thanks to the cafe, we had soft music playing in the background that completed the whole experience. We agreed to go back again with our full gear some time soon, lie down on the grass to soak in the moonlight and admire the beauty of the skyline at night. We talked for quite a bit, shared about our lives, our half baked plans for the future, our current work life and past relationships. It's always nice to have a friend u can say everything to and feel comfortable even in the midst of silence. And moments of silence are not awkward pauses but are opportunities to just appreciate the scenery and each other even more.

Thank you for a lovely dinner, an even lovelier time at Marina South and for the loveliest company I could wish for.

First weekend of the year..

I'm more than glad that after the work year started on Wed, the weekend came pretty quickly and I'm sure that all of us need that breather amidst the hustle and bustle of work life. There has been so much work to do since 2nd Jan, not to mention many meetings and changes in work structure for 2008.

On a lighter note, we had fun yesterday at J & L's place while sorting out clothes for our proposed garage sale 2 sundays from now. Some of the gals tried each other's clothes and did mutual swops along the way..each one happily exchanging clothes among ourselves before the real sale. I hope we will be able to sell the rest of the stuff on the actual day!

Then we went to this food centre at Bedok North for dinner and I had this pretty unique bak chor mee that was soup based and a good change from the typical ones that you find in most other hawker centres. And the stingray was good too, although my mouth quickly came on fire after being over zealous in taking in bite after bite without realising I was consuming way too much chilli than my threshold could endure. So I ended up having to suck ice in my mouth to mitigate the burning sensation but it was quite effective in quenching the fire.

Another week of work looms by and I can only hope we will all get through another crazy week...

Fear, Faith and Foundation

Last Sunday Rev Steven spoke on the passage in Luke where Peter attempts to walk on water and used the 3Fs above to describe how God sometimes builds us up through very difficult moments because he wants us to get to a place where we can trust him completely for our lives. I really liked his sermon because he reminded me of what I've always known in my head-but found it very hard to apply in my life.

I mean, this Christian path I've chosen many years ago has not been an easy journey and I still struggle at many atimes to even try to understand the greatness of God and His plans for my life. Sometimes I feel that God has been too silent in my life and how I long for Him to say a word to me or just be ever so real in my life. But something inside keeps telling me that this faith that I have is REAL and I know that God does exist and has a wonderful plan for my life-even tough I can't see it now. Hanging in there has not been easy for the past few years but I always remember Doc John telling me that the secret to a successful Christian life is to keep hanging in there, no matter what happens.

Lord Jesus, I pray that you will always give me strength and encouragement to keep persevering in my journey with you, even through very difficult moments when I am tempted to throw in the towel, for I know that you can do immeasurably more than I can ever ask or imagine. I also ask you to cover me with your mighty hand for I know it's the safest place I can ever be in. And please help me make Jerimiah 29:13 my daily mantra......

A new year ahead!

Been very busy lately with getting ready for the start of a new year and thus haven't been able to update this blog for a while. You know how the start of a new year at work means (more) meetings, (more) changes and more work. Thank God that today, being the first day, went pretty well and there were no major hiccups. We were supposed to have committee meetings at 2pm today but Boss had to rush off for another meeting outside so he condensed our meeting to like 15 mins..which went down very well with all of us cos no one likes having meetings anyway. I went for a hair cut after work today..salon was pretty empty (which is so good!) so there went the long hair i kept for 4 years..and now it's a short bob. I shall not say too much about it..let's just see everyone's reaction tomorrow at work- guess that will be the true litmus test :)